Snoop and Dr. Dre Have Tiny Dicks

I was listening to The Chronic by Dr. Dre earlier today… one of the most classic rap albums of all time. Track #2 is called “Fuckin’ Wit Dre Day,” and it’s a diss track about Eazy-E. While Snoop and Dre are ripping on Eazy, they make some weird insults that actually sound more insulting to the size of their own dicks. Here’s Dre’s line:

"Gap teeth in your mouth so my dick's gots ta fit."

Ok yeah, making fun of someone’s dental imperfections is a good diss… but claiming that your dick “gots ta fit,” cuz there’s a space between your teeth isn’t the best implication of the size of your manhood. If my dick was so small that it could fit in the gap between Eazy-E’s front teeth, the LAST thing I would do would be to rap about it.

But the best part of this is what Snoop follows it up with, it paints quite the picture if you think about it:

“With my nuts on ya tonsils, while you’re onstage rappin’ at your whack ass concert!”

He follows up Dre’s small dick diss with yet another of his own, perhaps not wanting to upstage the man that put him on the map. Just picture Eazy-E, with Snoop Dogg’s dick in his mouth, so deep that his testicles are actually on Eazy’s tonsils. Now if Snoop had even a smaller-than-average sized dick, how the hell would Eazy still be able to be rapping at his “whack ass concert?” If I was Snoop and Eazy could say anything more than a gargling sound in that situation, I’d be ashamed. And all of this is taking place onstage at a concert? I think the fans would be a little irriated, as that isn’t the kind of show they paid for.

Edgewater Casino (Laughlin, NV)

It’s Sunday night, and I’m in my room at the Edgewater Casino in Laughlin, Nevada after a weekend of shows featuring for Tom Clark. There is nothing on TV, and I am embarrassed to say that I’m watching a movie called Underclassman starring Nick Cannon (only because I’ve watched the cycle of Sportscenter like 6x today).

It was a great weekend, 3 shows and they went well for the most part. I’m really working on tightening my 30-minute set, and I think getting to work it out three times in a row really helped me figure out how to do that. Tom is hilarious, I learn a lot from him and he has been so cool to me as a newer comic to take me on the road with him so much. He’s really really good with crowd-work, something that I’ve been trying to improve on, so I’ve been taking mental notes.

No hot chicks in Laughlin, that’s for sure. Kept me focused on stand-up, though we still found plenty of time to get drunk, eat an absurd amount at the buffet 3x a day, and to gamble. I actually ended the weekend up $100 in blackjack, so no complaints here!

We’re off in the morning, headed back to LA and back to civilization. My mullet count was at 13 for the weekend, here’s a pic of a mullet next to the sign of the “night club” in our casino to sum up the trip. Thank you Edgewater, see you again soon!

--Robbie